even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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