well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
