So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize