your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My vagina is officially offended.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
