Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
