Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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