my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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