oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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