Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!

(763): View more from Minnesota

Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.

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(240): View more from Maryland

He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice

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(206): View more from Washington

a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside

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(314): View more from Missouri

We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love

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(765): View more from Indiana

Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy

(202): View more from Washington, DC

OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!

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