And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
