i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
