apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
