Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
