When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
