By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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