i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
