aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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