It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
