In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Drake has all the answers
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
