So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Randomize
