Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
