i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
