Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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