Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
