I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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