In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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