3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize