i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
