I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
