She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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