also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
