oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
do nipples grow back?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
