I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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