careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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