So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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