why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think my vagina is haunted
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
