i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
