keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
