the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
