He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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