I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize