Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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