doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
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