Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
