Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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