meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Someone shit on the floor
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
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