omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
