I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
