You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
