xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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