White coat. Heels.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
MIDGETS
????
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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