do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
