nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
