I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
