He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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