some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
