i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
