They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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