Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
