Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
what the fuck happened to the tacos
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
