Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize