their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
