Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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