The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize