Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
